Screen Queen: Deli Boys, The Weekly With Charlie Pickering, Denise Richards’ new show and Long Bright River

Deli Boys

Streaming now on Disney Plus

Let’s face it: the world’s a dark, dark place right now. As I write this, we’re perched on the precipice of World War III, actual baddies are running the world, and honestly, TV escapism is the only thing getting me through right now.

Disassociating via the small screen is a tad difficult this week: there are two great new dramas dropping — Apple TV’s Dope Thief and Stan’s Long Bright River — but both are depressing as all get-out. Both are about the drug trade: the former centres on two small-time crooks who get on the wrong side of a massive illegal operation, the other is all about a cop on the beat in a particularly sketchy drug-blighted part of Philadelphia.

Neither make the drug trade look even slightly enticing — both did a terrible job at distracting me from the horrors of the real world.

Deli Boys also mines similar territory, but — and hooray for this — it’s pretty bloody funny.

It centres around Raj (Saagar Shaikh) and Mir Dar (Asif Ali), a pair of spoiled Pakistani-American brothers who find out after their rich dad dies that he was the kingpin in a massive drug operation run out of one of the corner-store delis he owned.

They unwittingly get caught up in it all after their dad’s business partner, Lucky Auntie (played hilariously by Never Have I Ever’s Poorna Jagannathan), takes the reigns and gives them a lesson in the realities of a life of crime. With the FBI closing in on the operation, it’s up to her to shepherd the spoiled boys through their unexpected new roles — hilarity ensues.

As the official logline reads: “As Raj and Mir fumble from one ridiculous catastrophe to the next, every move they make is life or death. Because when your trust fund is gone, so is the luxury of screwing up,” and excuse me, but YES PLEASE!

This is exactly the kind of madcap mindlessness my fragile brain needs right now.

Denise Richards & Her Wild Things

Streaming now on Hayu

I’ve been on first-name basis with Denise Richards since my days working as an entertainment reporter for a weekly gossip magazine. Back then, her and her ne’er-do-well husband, Charlie Sheen, graced the pages almost weekly — there wasn’t much about their lives I didn’t (unwillingly) know about.

Fast forward 20 years and she’s re-entered my consciousness, this time via the reality series she’s starring in with her now grown-up kids. Do I need to know more about this C- List celebrity and her nepo spawn? Absolutely not. Will I be tuning in regardless? Of course I will.

Sorry, not sorry.

With Love, Meghan

Streaming now on Netflix

Feeling world weary? Don’t worry: Meghan Sussex, nee Markle, is here to make it all better. Not going to lie: loved her new lifestyle series. You’re all welcome at mine for skillet spaghetti!

The Weekly With Charlie Pickering

Wednesday, 8.30pm, ABC

Spare a thought for Charlie Pickering — he’s back with his weekly satirical news show. And with the world the way it is, he’s never had more material to whittle down. Poor bugger.

Long Bright River

Thursday, streaming on Stan

Amanda Seyfried stars in this eight-part series based on the acclaimed novel. I already know what happens from the book, but I was still instantly drawn to the unfolding story — Seyfried is really good.